First Blood Relative

During college, and even after I had my first child, I would flippantly search for my birth parents. During that time, I did not try to contact the agency that handled my adoption. Honestly, I really didn't know how to search. I did not ask anyone who had been through the searching process. I'd just get on the internet and search with the small bit of information that I had. That information included my birth mother's physical description and age. My birth father's information was so vague that I often brushed over it. After I had my first child, the wonder in my mind infected a great longing that'd been held in my heart. I held my baby and she looked so much like me (and her dad). Finally, I knew and beheld a blood relative. She was my world. She seemed to be such a mystery, and I was her only history. What traits did this precious miracle hold within her tiny being? What characteristics came from me and my side of the family? Her birth brought more questions and angst than that of a typical birth with known heritage. She became my treasure, yet the void in my soul deepened. I felt lost. Not knowing my history made me feel as though I had no anchor. I wanted to know who I was and where I came. And now I wanted my daughter to know.