Wednesday, January 11, 2017

What I Did Not Know

On New Year's Day of 2016 I revealed to my mother that I was going to officially search for my biological relatives. It was time to stop wondering and get to work. Upon my asking, she revealed to me...
that I had a sister. WHAT?! I'd never been told that I had sister. My mother said that my birth mother told the social worker that she had a daughter that was eleven at the time that I was born. According to my mom, my sister had disabilities. I was floored. I tried to hold my composure. My emotions ran wild. What the hell??? I was thrilled to learn that I had a sister. I always wanted a sister. It was a longing in my heart. It was a connection that I felt that I'd somehow missed out on. Then I became incredibly sad. What  type of disabilities did my sister have? My mind began to race at how I'd missed a lifetime of helping to care for her. And then... then there was anger. It was stirred in with the rest of my emotions like a sticky goo. I was pissed. Why had this information been kept from me for all of these years? Why did I have to ask in order to be told such important information? I was steaming.  I thought I'd explode. I felt like a damned pressure cooker. Yet, this all remained under wraps. I took in this information as it was vital to my next step...

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